Last week new book was published, Gay Mormons?: Latter-day Saint Experiences of Same-Gender Attraction.
View the book online.
“What is it like to be a Mormon who is attracted to the same gender rather than the opposite gender? How does this fit into a culture and religion centered on heterosexual marriage? In this book, thirty-seven individuals share their personal experiences, offering a window into these complex questions. The intense despair felt by gay and lesbian Mormon youth poses a significant challenge to their families, teachers, and ecclesiastical leaders who love them but who may be unaware of their difficulties or uncertain of how to help. These youth are often among the most devoted to their faith. While these issues continue to be surrounded by controversy, there is a growing need for understanding and respect for all involved. The accounts in this book offer hope and inspiration to those who wish to create a brighter future for their families and communities.”
I have a similar book in novel format coming out this Fall. This is an important topic. Those without a testimony suffer absolute sadness, especially gay Mormon youth.
Jerod,
I disagree with your idea that “those without a testimony suffer absolute sadness, especially gay Mormon youth.”
Firstly, I’ll address your idea that “gay Mormon youth … without a testimony suffer absolute sadness.”
Many of we who came out as ‘gay’ later in life were once Mormon youth who HAD testimonies — THAT was the reason we ‘suffered’! It was painful being at odds with the church at a time when there was little or no understanding of homosexuality within it, or the world at large. Concepts that are now outmoded: homosexuality is a choice, ‘selfishness’ is at the root of same-sex attraction, marriage can ‘cure’ homosexuality, and the atonement of Christ can heal same-sex attractions — just turned the knife in the wound. We gay boys and girls WERE the youth of the church who listened faithfully to “every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God” — in the scriptures, the Ensign, and from our church leaders. We ‘lived’ the gospel. We rose through the ranks of the priesthood, served honorable missions, held callings, were sometimes married in the temple — and yet our homosexuality was not taken from us!
The “absolute sadness” we felt back then was a response to the current of deep misunderstanding about homosexuality running through the church. The language of the time equated homosexuality with a disease, an illness, a physical handicap, a perversion. Members and leaders of the church told us we were an abomination, that it would’ve been better had we not been born, and that there would be no place in God’s kingdom for us if we had homosexual feelings. In fact, back then, many gay/lesbian were excommunicated for merely expressing they had such feelings; even if they had never ‘acted’ on them!
The gay LDS youth of today have at the very least been reassured by church leaders that their gay/lesbian feelings are not a choice, and they have been counseled that faithful church service — even marriage — are not the cure. Youth have been reassured they are loved, and that they may serve missions and hold church callings, IF they are chaste. They are not considered pariahs.
But… the LDS youth of today, no matter how ‘worthy,’ are left with the ultimate, 21st century sadness. Unlike their straight counterparts, they are expected to remain single and celibate for the remainder of their lives. And adding insult to injury, they are told that “the standard is the same” for single gay OR straight adults — never mind the fact that all single heterosexual adults may date, romance, hold hands with and kiss those they are ‘naturally’ attracted to, at any point in their lives — while gays & lesbians cannot express romantic affections to those of their own sex to whom they are ‘naturally’ attracted….
And finally, your idea that “those without a testimony suffer absolute sadness…” is not something that I’ve, personally, seen born out in the world about me. I know many gays and lesbians who were once active LDS but left the church over this issue. They are deeply spiritual individuals, some of whom now worship elsewhere, or are reconciled to being agnostic or atheistic; they do not claim a testimony of the LDS church. I see no weight of sadness in them, in fact, just the opposite. I see, especially, a settled peace and contentment, a lightness of being — joy, even — when they no longer hide who they are, and when they realize that they have the option, nowadays, within the broader community of living in loving, committed relationships.
Respectfully,
Brian